Either I want to loosen my grip
on the tether of control
Or I want to achieve
perfectionism.
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I miss you.
Your memories are so dearest
They make the present look lifeless
And future, much worse
Equations
I find it hard to believe sometimes
That I don’t receive the love
I give away in abundance
But then I am so bad at maths
I must have messed up the algorithm
Lonely
More often than not
these late evenings
feels like a lump in my throat;
really hard to swallow
(P.S. The photo is clicked by me.)
Life lessons
I always look back at life
to acknowledge the progress i’ve made
But today when i look back
I notice everything has gone downhill
I guess it’s the first time i’ve realised
what progress looks like
Saudade
Do you miss me too?
Or is it just me,
missing myself?
Who am I?
I think. I think a lot. I think now, i think then. I think about you, i think about me. I gave my thoughts the power to control me. Now i am not me. I am my thoughts.
I saw my future in a rancid dream. I saw myself falling. Hence, i befriended fear. So i shall do what it says. It tells me to not rise because falling comes with rising. Now i am not my thoughts. I am my fear.
Will it always be like this? What if it never changes? What if my fear doesn’t go away? Now i am not my fear. I am my ambiguity.
The feelings churn in my guts. I can feel them rising up my throat. My brows are getting tensed. I just might puke. Now i am not my ambiguity. I am my anxiety.
It’s not a foreign feeling. It’s there and then it’s not. I think it likes playing peekaboo. But when it’s gone, i know i won’t be my anxiety. I will be my depression.
Knock knock
Your untimely visit;
Even though anticipated,
Is a close call for
Trespassing.
Empathy
I read about you
I relate,
And i get scared.
As if i am living through all of you,
One by one
And have no existence of my own.
Irony
You have very little to do
With what happens to you
But trust me,
It’s a lot to process.
IntrovertTheory 