Either I want to loosen my grip
on the tether of control
Or I want to achieve
perfectionism.
Category: life
Lonely
More often than not
these late evenings
feels like a lump in my throat;
really hard to swallow
(P.S. The photo is clicked by me.)
Life lessons
I always look back at life
to acknowledge the progress i’ve made
But today when i look back
I notice everything has gone downhill
I guess it’s the first time i’ve realised
what progress looks like
Who am I?
I think. I think a lot. I think now, i think then. I think about you, i think about me. I gave my thoughts the power to control me. Now i am not me. I am my thoughts.
I saw my future in a rancid dream. I saw myself falling. Hence, i befriended fear. So i shall do what it says. It tells me to not rise because falling comes with rising. Now i am not my thoughts. I am my fear.
Will it always be like this? What if it never changes? What if my fear doesn’t go away? Now i am not my fear. I am my ambiguity.
The feelings churn in my guts. I can feel them rising up my throat. My brows are getting tensed. I just might puke. Now i am not my ambiguity. I am my anxiety.
It’s not a foreign feeling. It’s there and then it’s not. I think it likes playing peekaboo. But when it’s gone, i know i won’t be my anxiety. I will be my depression.
Empathy
I read about you
I relate,
And i get scared.
As if i am living through all of you,
One by one
And have no existence of my own.
Irony
You have very little to do
With what happens to you
But trust me,
It’s a lot to process.
Noise cancellation
Stealing thunder was never my thing;
I am too busy soundproofing.
//I am not jealous, you are insecure//
For god sake
It makes you a hypocrite
For crying out loud
To whine about the one
That cries out loud.
Ghost
You live in my head,
prominently,
predominantly.
It’s human to talk
It feels good to be around people after practicing detachment for a considerable period of time. When something tough happens in life i usually go into hiding. I don’t communicate with friends or distant family and for that amount of time i feel good. I don’t ignore people out of arrogance, i do it out of peace. And now that i am out of that zone of ignoring people, i genuinely think that it’s wonderful to meet new people and talk to them. It gives a different edge to the conversation.
A little desperation, a little loneliness and a lot more need of social interaction makes the most life affirming conversation.
You learn a lot about yourself and you go in the depth of learning about the other person too. Infact you value the other person more than ever. It’s refreshing to talk.
If you guys are in the middle of feeling desperate for a social interaction due to loneliness or whatever reason it could be, i advise you to stay put. Someone will turn up. And you have no idea how beautifully you are going to present yourself in front of people the next time you make a conversation!
IntrovertTheory 