More often than not
these late evenings
feels like a lump in my throat;
really hard to swallow
(P.S. The photo is clicked by me.)
Tag: Depression
Who am I?
I think. I think a lot. I think now, i think then. I think about you, i think about me. I gave my thoughts the power to control me. Now i am not me. I am my thoughts.
I saw my future in a rancid dream. I saw myself falling. Hence, i befriended fear. So i shall do what it says. It tells me to not rise because falling comes with rising. Now i am not my thoughts. I am my fear.
Will it always be like this? What if it never changes? What if my fear doesn’t go away? Now i am not my fear. I am my ambiguity.
The feelings churn in my guts. I can feel them rising up my throat. My brows are getting tensed. I just might puke. Now i am not my ambiguity. I am my anxiety.
It’s not a foreign feeling. It’s there and then it’s not. I think it likes playing peekaboo. But when it’s gone, i know i won’t be my anxiety. I will be my depression.
Get going, love.
“It’ll be okay love, you just have to get going. I know it feels awfully satisfying to be stuck and hoping life will push you.
It’ll be okay love, you just have to go disappear in the crowd because sometimes that makes you forget your pain and will help you to move on.
It’ll be okay love, even if your past demons resurface. It’s difficult playing hide and seek but you won’t find them scary after a point.
It’ll be okay love, you just have to start somewhere. You are not running out of time and it’ll be never too late for you.”
I tell myself as i pack my books in the bag while i leave for my library.
Just another day returning from war and walking towards peace.
IntrovertTheory 